PARTING WAYS

Our time in Tanzania is coming to an end and we are down to our last 3 days in Arusha. Although I am looking forward to going home to see my family and friends, I must say, it will be sad to leave this place. Over the past 6 months, Arusha has become my home away from home. My friends and classmates that traveled here with me and all of the wonderful people we met during our stay here have truly made this a journey to remember.

We began saying our good byes yesterday as we visited the ICTR for the last time to do our formal checking out. Due to our limited funds, we utilized our resources and made cards for everyone that had touched our lives in some way or another, which was about 30 people and we kept thinking of more. We stopped to see Frank, one of the security guards at the ATM who is intent on me coming back to Tanzania and becoming his wife one day. He is always so friendly and full of smiles. The question that people keep asking us is when we will be back to Tanzania and we reply, “Inshallah (God willing)”. I then went to see Hamad Kibwana who works in the finance department and had helped us out tremendously with our EU2 project. He was happy to see me and to get his card. He promised to keep in touch and continue to teach me Kiswahili. Neema, the secretary who helped us out so much in the beginning was the next stop and she said she was honored to receive the card. She wished us well and said we will probably meet again in this small world that we live in.

Next we saw Sumari and his good bye proved to be the hardest so far. Sumari is a local Tanzanian that works for the cleaning staff at the ICTR and has been my friend from day one. He came by my office when I first moved in with his charismatic personality and we immediately hit it off. Over the past 6 months we have had many conversations about life in Tanzania and life in American. He was surprised to find out that everyone in America did not own a car. I was surprised to find out that his salary is about 72,000 shillings per month (about $55). He has a wife and a young daughter named Belina, both of whom we met a couple of weeks ago when we visited his village to attend a confirmation celebration for his niece and nephew. As we said our good byes to Sumari we all began to tear up from his kind words. He expressed how we had been so kind to him despite the fact that he is a janitor and that many people at the Tribunal do not extend that same kindness to him. Tears soon began to flow followed by a little laughter as we could tell Sumari felt a little uncomfortable and made a quick exit to avoid more tears. He is one of the people I will miss most from here and I hope that we will be able to remain in touch. He said the likelihood of him coming to America is slim so he hopes that we will come back to Arusha one day.

Another touching good bye was with our supervisor. After waiting for an hour for her to meet with her supervisor (true ICTR fashion), we headed to lunch to have our last girl talk session. Yousser has not only been a great supervisor (although she did push our buttons from time to time with her somewhat obsessive compulsive personality), she has also been a great friend. She has invited us to her home several times and always kept us updated on what to do in Arusha and where to travel. We shared stories about men, careers, and just life in general. During lunch we tried to update her on our most recent escapades: mine to Kakuma, Eunice’s to Dar and Lindy, and Michelle’s to Zanzibar. Yousser then gave us some advice about traveling and the careers we are trying to pursue and family. She said that the transition home will be a challenge but after you do this type of work for a while, home will become where you are and you will not feel so attached to one place. You will want to go and explore more and those places will become your new home. She also said to expect to make sacrifices from time to time and in her case, she chose to sacrifice some of her career choices for her family. This is a decision she says she does not regret and would encourage us to do the same because at the end of the day the times that you will remember the most will be the times with family and friends, not the times you spent hours on end at the office. I really admire her strength as a woman and her endurance to carry on with her career after taking some time off for family. Today she manages to balance her career with her family life despite the fact that her job is very demanding and that fact that her husband lives in another country. She admits that there are challenges just as with any relationship but in the end, it is all worth. After advising us and giving us beautiful Maasai beads as gifts, we said our good byes which were a little rushed as Yousser had an appointment that she was already late for. I hope that we will be able to remain in touch and that our paths will one day cross again.

This weekend we will continue our good byes that include people like Alfred, our buddy who helped us find a place and took us on many safaris; Ben, our apartment neighbor from the UK that we bonded with over the robbery at the Ethiopian restaurant; Peter, our friend from church that is always looking out for us and had many connections in Arusha that he has hooked us up with; Richard and Novica, security guards at the ICTR that have treated us to several meals and showed us around Arusha; Frida and Regina, the wonderful ladies at the center who we could come to at any time for help with anything; Gasper and Emmanuel, our beloved taxi drivers; Tina, the lady who made some beautiful bags for me out of the kangas I got for my birthday; Lei Lei and the crew at the fruit stand; the crew at the East African Hotel where we spent many hours working on papers; Mass, Mic, Baraka, Kelvin and the other members of “Contagious” who provided hours of entertainment with their b boy style dancing; and many other people that we have met here and there. These are all people that will remain in my heart and mind for years to come as I reflect on this journey that has been a beautiful struggle. I think the beautiful struggle will continue as I return home and try to process all that I have learned and experienced these past 6 months while adjusting back to life at home, work and finishing my thesis so that I can graduate in May!!!